Happy Birthday to lil Kuku -- Time Flies -- XV

This year has been a roller-coaster ride. How so you ask?

• From crying tears of happiness when he did something cute To crying tears of desperation when he sometimes cried non-stop at night and refused to sleep
• From listening to solicited and unsolicited advice and following them To listening to unsolicited advice but following them only it makes sense for both us (me and Kuku)
• From watching absolutely no TV To watching something after Kuku is asleep
• From settling into a pattern and getting comfortable To realizing that there is a new pattern and adapting myself to it and realizing that change is all that is permanent
• From wondering when he will hit the next milestone To being patient and accepting that he will do it when he wants to
• From lamenting my lack of support situation To accepting all the help when I get it  
• From trying to do it all To accepting that I really cannot do it all
• From reveling in the role of a mother To wondering if that is all I am   
• From not taking any break away from him To taking small breaks away from him (works so well for both of us)
• From seeing him as a doll like baby To seeing him as a person who can communicate his happiness (big smile followed by a small hug), dislikes (turning down his lips and crying), anger (violent shaking of head with a yell), and other funny mannerisms which I am slowly learning to decode.

Well, it has been a year of learning, a year of fun and tears, a year of silent desperation when I suffered a lot of self-doubt, a year of good progress, a year of understanding each other, and a year of building trust. And considering that I love amusement rides, well, I really should not be complaining :D